So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
