some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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