I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
