the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
