I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
