he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
