Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
