it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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