you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
