Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pants are for mortals
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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