She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
