i just google imaged poop.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
