You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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