So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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