Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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