Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
