Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
