I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
