..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
