So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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