I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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