She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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