what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
