The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
