I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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