I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
