im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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