I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All the doctor said was why
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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