i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
