Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
