YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
