I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
