All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
