i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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