I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
the raccoons are back...
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