No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
