I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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