I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
