found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
