i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
