mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
