i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My cat gives me a boner
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
