meet me or not, i'm out of control
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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