Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
