He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
