I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
