do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
