I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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