I am in a vortex of obligation.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
