Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
