I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
