The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
